I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
