Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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