We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
