I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
