That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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