Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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