the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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