I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
