yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
