Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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