'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
