yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
