We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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