one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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