I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
