end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
