I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
