So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
