Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
That reminds me...we need to get swords
organizing the empties. That sober.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
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