his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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