dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
we're making bets on your personal life
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
