You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I love having hate sex.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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