Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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