Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
