My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
