Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
