I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
