You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
