Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
