ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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