I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
