Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
