I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
