I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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