Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
