oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
