I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
