how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
