I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
