I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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