yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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