O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
