You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
