I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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