he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
