There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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