What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
