At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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