I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
