hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
